A Picture In The Night

The deep restless ocean of love
pounds its waves to the walls of my heart
the heart knows of no shallow patches
to drop its anchor
for even a brief respite.

Dark thick swirls of clouds in the night sky
obscure the vision of my bright North Star
which will guide me home.
It will bring all loved ones home.

Rezvan
March 2011

In Meditation

I am standing here in a grassy field - wanting to be still
lingering anguish from the story before last
stuck to the walls of my heart. Taking a deep breath.

Generous rays of sun laced with chimes from the high winds
brush their warm vibrations through the strands of my fingers over weary skin
melting, loosening, opening me
to the magnificent universe laying before my eyes.

I see a majestic, tall, wide, fierce, evergreen
deeply moved by this hubbub
branches swaying in all directions -one humbly bending far.

And, I see an exuberant white bird sharply chirping
announcing his connection to this exquisite spread
riding ever higher soaring against the patchy blue sky.

I, too, long to be a benign member of this divine community
humble, fierce, exuberant, fearless,
moving fully, responding naturally and no hesitating.

***

I look, and see my bony fleshy arms hanging at my sides
no sign of leaves or feathers at the finger tips
touched but not moved.

And then the realization comes in waves----

To grow leaves and branches I must first grow roots
into the depth of mother earth
take from her what I need--all I need
and not even a drop more. Not even one drop more.
And give back all I have -- all I have
every day and every night
without leave taking or holidays
nothing withheld or saved for later --trusting her bounty.

Or if this plan is too hard for my humanness---

I must work on making two wings,
one made of love, the other of knowing
the bigger I make them grow, the higher I could go.

Full membership in this universe has its own conditions.

I am trying. I am here still.
I am still here today and hope to stay.

Rezvan Spring 2010

Blessing (Beannacht)

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

~ John O'Donohue ~
(Irish Poet)

On Fear

Adapted from Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield , and others

Fear is hard-wired in our nervous system. Fear is a given. It is an evolutionary message for survival. It is not a mistake! If you go back and strip the layers from any fear, at the core you will reach the fear of non-existence—the impermanence of one's life—it is about the fragility of being and loss of our existence.

But this:
that one can contain
death, the whole of death, even before
life has begun, can hold it to one's heart
gently, and not refuse to go on living,
is inexpressible.

Elegy IV
Rilke

When we get fixated and reactive in the face of our fears we get locked in to the biochemistry of fight, flight, and freeze, which is incompatible with life and joy. Fears come and go, but fear becomes suffering when our identify and sense of self gets caught in it—when our mind is tangled in fear and our bodies tight with it, our world becomes small and contracted--—we forget the vastness of being. We forget love and kindness and beauty and relatedness.

Freedom from fear is not the absence of fear--it is when fear arises but does not take over the sense of who we are—that there is some remembering of something bigger—the recognition that fears are waves in an ocean—the awareness of the vastness of consciousness—a shift from the existence that is fear-driven to the awareness that fear comes and goes.

Be empty of worrying
Think of who created thought
Why do you stay in prison
When the door is so wide open
Move outside the tangle of fear thinking
Live in silence
Flow down and down
Into always widening
Rings of being.

-Rumi

Anger is Energy

[Adapted from: Lama Surya Das, Thich Nhat Hanh]

Anger is an emotion. It is energy. It is natural. Similar to fear, it has its own wisdom & intelligence as a part of our survival equipment with which we are born. Anger need not to be suppressed. We do not need to get rid of the energy that comes with strong emotions such as fear or anger. Rather, we need to look at our relationship to these emotions. When the energy of anger arises it could be a signal to turn the attention from the object (what is out there) to the subject (our self).

Anger is an energy that we need to hold with tenderness and compassion. The energy of anger comes from within not without. Each time there is the energy of anger we should call upon the energy of mindfulness, compassion, and loving-kindness. We bring the attention to the anger, make room for it, and take care of it. The sun shines on, circulates around, and penetrates the flower. The flower opens up to the energy of the sun. So, too, mindful compassion and loving-kindness do not merely circulate around the anger, they penetrate the anger and open it up to transformation.

Thich Nhat Hanh says when angry, simply bring your attention to mindful breathing, breathing in “I know I am angry,” breathing out “I am taking good care of my anger.” By doing this, you embrace your anger with the energy of mindfulness; this alone will transform the energy of anger. Neglecting anger is to leave a hungry and crying child unattended—it will cry louder.

The energy of anger has some danger if not cared for mindfully. It can ultimately turn to rage, hatred, or violence. With energy of anger lucidity can be lost. You call upon the energy of mindfulness and loving kindness to care for and transform anger.

Lama Surya Das identifies 5 steps to mindful anger management:

1. acknowledge/experience/feel it
2. allow the presence of anger
3. reflect/analyze/scrutinize/cradle it
4. recognize its impermanence, and
5. respond (not react).
   

Response to anger could be one or a combination of:

• letting go,

• responding constructively and or creatively, and

• calling upon the energy of loving-kindness and compassion.

“The true battlefield is the heart of men” Dostoevsky

Your Shape of Laughter

Let my words become like a skilled
Potter's hands,

Quieting,
Smoothing your life
With their knowledge,

Reaching into your tender core
And spreading you out
Like the morning

That leaps from the sun's amused wink
Onto hills, brows, and backs of so many
Beautiful laboring beasts.

God's duty is to make perfect
All your movements of mind, of limb,
And your ascending shape of laughter.

Watch the way my hands dance
With their diamond-edged brilliance

Cutting you open with music,
Reaching into your heart

And spilling the night sky-jar you carry
That is always full of giggling planets and stars.

My words are a divine potter's wheel.
If you stay near to me,
Please,Stay near to me -

And Hafiz will spin you into
Love.



(Hafiz-- Daniel Ladinsky Translation)

Don’t turn away
Keep your gaze on the bandaged place
That is where the light enters you

-Rumi