In Meditation

I am standing here in a grassy field - wanting to be still
lingering anguish from the story before last
stuck to the walls of my heart. Taking a deep breath.

Generous rays of sun laced with chimes from the high winds
brush their warm vibrations through the strands of my fingers over weary skin
melting, loosening, opening me
to the magnificent universe laying before my eyes.

I see a majestic, tall, wide, fierce, evergreen
deeply moved by this hubbub
branches swaying in all directions -one humbly bending far.

And, I see an exuberant white bird sharply chirping
announcing his connection to this exquisite spread
riding ever higher soaring against the patchy blue sky.

I, too, long to be a benign member of this divine community
humble, fierce, exuberant, fearless,
moving fully, responding naturally and no hesitating.

***

I look, and see my bony fleshy arms hanging at my sides
no sign of leaves or feathers at the finger tips
touched but not moved.

And then the realization comes in waves----

To grow leaves and branches I must first grow roots
into the depth of mother earth
take from her what I need--all I need
and not even a drop more. Not even one drop more.
And give back all I have -- all I have
every day and every night
without leave taking or holidays
nothing withheld or saved for later --trusting her bounty.

Or if this plan is too hard for my humanness---

I must work on making two wings,
one made of love, the other of knowing
the bigger I make them grow, the higher I could go.

Full membership in this universe has its own conditions.

I am trying. I am here still.
I am still here today and hope to stay.

Rezvan Spring 2010